Fireproof Your Marriage

February 21, 2009

On the 27^th of February, James and I will celebrate 10 wonderful years of marriage. The past ten years has been an incredible journey. Our lives have changed so dramatically. We have experienced the highs and lows. The ups and downs and the roller coaster effect of marriage.

Through it all we love and respect one another. We recognize God and the true gift that we are to each other. James and I acknowledge our imperfections and that we both have made mistakes along the way and probably will make a few more.

One of the greatest things to happen for us in our marriage was “Fireproof the Movie” and “The Love Dare”.  We made the greatest investment to ourselves and our marriage when we purchased these dynamic marriage strengthening tools.

"Fireproof The Movie” and “The Love Dare” is a must have for every couple. In my opinion Fireproof  was and still is “The Movie” of 2008 and beyond. Marriage in movies today is rarely seen as something worth preserving and fighting for.“Fireproof” is dedicated to strengthening marriages. The movie is packed with action, drama, love, humor and intense emotions. The movie is so powerful and transformational.

Many valuable pieces of successful marriage practices were seamlessly taught throughout the movie. Pray for your spouse. Listen to your spouse. Invest in your marriage with your time, attention, energy and even money. Study your spouse. Get a bachelor’s, then a master’s, then a doctorate degree in your spouse. Have a never-ending quest to know the heart and soul of your spouse and what makes them tick.

What I love about “Fireproof” and “The Love Dare” is the foundational principal, which is love. I realized during this journey that God’s love is so passionate and consuming and that before I could love James the way he needed to be loved. It had to start vertical with my undying love and affection for Christ.

In one poignant scene in the movie Caleb comes to his wits end regarding how he can possibly continue to love when his love is not received. How can he love when his love is rejected?

 It is then that he awakens to the role Christ plays in his ability to love his wife, as he must be able to within marriage. It is then that his heart is transformed and softened to a state that makes him capable of loving in the true spirit of love.

Somewhere in the midst of Caleb’s awakening to and acceptance of Christ, there seems to be a transfer of power, such that Caleb is now able to love more so as God loves. It gives new meaning to charity, the pure love of Christ, that suffers long, is kind, and seek not her own. This love that we seek in marriage is the love that God freely gives.

The road to Caleb’s transformation is not easy. It is full of heart-wrenching pain. It is quite obvious that the process is slow and moves at the pace of a turtle.

As Caleb experienced grace, unearned, unmerited and the unconditional love that God has and pours out on His people, he was then able to transfer that love into his marriage

This is the love that is needed in our marriages today. In order for us to have truly successful marriages a transformation in the heart first has to occur. This in and of itself is divine in nature and takes power beyond our own. Love isn’t solely based on feelings or how we feel at a particular moment. Love is an action. In marriage, sometimes one or the other or both needs to love even when the love is undeserved.

When our heart changes we truly begin to love unconditionally, then our marital relationships soar to unreachable heights. As the ‘Love Dare” states we must learn how lead our hearts instead of following it.

 “The Love Dare” a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. Whether your marriage is brand new, hanging by a thread or healthy and strong. It is a journey that I feel very strongly and passionately about.

It is a journey that every married couple young or old needs to embark upon. The book is challenging, thought provoking and includes powerful lessons on love, a space for journaling, and a specific dare for each day.

Some of the simple, yet potentially powerful actions that were suggested in the Love Dare included things like refraining from saying anything negative to your spouse. The old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all” still applies. Doing one nice thing today for one’s spouse or calling to check on how he or she is doing were some of the daily Love Dare challenges.

I love the dares as they allow me the opportunity to put into action the principles learned.

If you haven’t seen the movie I am making a personal appeal to each of my clients to purchase the DVD and make it a part of your in home movie collection.

My copy sits on my coffee table and serves as a loving and gentle reminder of the daily commitment made to strengthening my own marital relationship.

Those of you, who know me personally, understand that weddings are my passion. After seeing the move and taking “The Love Dare” there is an even deeper passionate desire and commitment.

My desire is not only to plan and execute “the” perfect wedding, but to see each couple that I encounter have a lifelong marriage that thrives. A marriage where the foundation is built upon love, patience, tenderness, compassion, commitment, integrity and forgiveness.

Please understand that a successful marriage doesn’t just happen. It takes hard work and lots of it.

“Fireproof” and “The Love Dare” have personally helped me to lean the true meaning of marriage and that the vows and covenants we make our clear and self-sacrificial.

Love is something we choose to do regardless of the difficulty. In marriage there will inevitably be opportunities to test you and see if you really meant what you said on your wedding day — for better or for worse.

Marriage is a promise. Marriage is a covenant. It is not merely a contract that can be canceled at will. Rich rewards await those who push through the pain of personal growth to overcome the challenges and obstacles that all couples face. Fire is a great analogy, just like precious metals are purified and refined through the fire so are we.

The vows that I took almost ten years ago were to love “till death do us part” and “in sickness and health” and “for better or worse” and for “richer or poorer”. Regardless of the obstacles that James and I face. Regardless of the curve balls that life throws at us we are determined to keep the vows and covenant that we made.

James and I hold true to the adage of the movie of “Never Leave Your Partner Behind”.

To the couples who have forged ahead of us in marriage. WE offer our love, support and upmost respect. For we now know that marriage is a difficult but rewarding well traveled road.

To those of you embarking upon this life long journey. Take the time to invest in your marriage. Put God first and make sure that he is both the foundation and at the center of your marriage.

My prayer is that each of you will work with James and I to collectively strengthen and fireproof our marriages.

I sincerely wish you a life full of joy, peace and all of the love and happiness that your hearts can hold.